It’s back, it’s limited, it’s not Mexican food…it’s the Taco Bell Enchirito©. Basically a lazily folded beef and bean burrito smothered in enchilada sauce and melted cheese, it was a menu staple for decades. It long ago lost its three little sliced pieces of black olive as the garnish on top, but it has remained a strangely loved fast food phenomenon, like the McRib or an off-menu item, or those disgusting-yet-addictive tacos that Jack-in-the-Box convinces you to buy ten of at 1-am.

It has fallen off and reappeared on the Taco Bell menu many times, and has a strong following that has even created enthusiast groups and grassroots campaigns demanding its full time return to the house that Glen Bell built. Possibly the strangest thing though is that Taco Bell knew what it was and embraced it decades ago. They have unapologetically reveled in their position as the stoner’s late night food of choice, creating the concept of “4th meal” and doing things only a pothead could think of, like making a Dorito tortilla for their tacos, or making a Mountain Dew flavor with even more sugar that’s exclusive to Taco Bell stores (Baja Blast©).

Even back in the early 2000’s they were at it, selling us the enchirito with a confusing, low budget ad campaign that acts now as a foretelling of what TikTok would look like decades later

No idea who they were, why they were there, or what compelled them to sing, but I’ve had this enchirito(rito) song stuck in my head, on and off, for over 25 years. I used to worry it was my CIA recall code and every time I heard it I had actually disappeared for 10-days to a Peruvian jungle to kill a cartel kingpin. Hell, maybe I have. I just know these weird ads were catchy in an era where you didn’t have commercials acting as a gate to your next Youtube video: you just hit the “prev ch” button on your remote. You had to be damn good to write a commercial that was catchy enough you’d let it play, but not so catchy it drove you crazy the 4th time you heard it.

But about that damn food…

So I did what any CIA sleeper agent would do: I went to the nearest Taco Bell when I heard the enchirito was back and bought three. Yep. I planned to eat one and throw the other two in the fridge for later (4th meal, remember?), but you can guess how that went. And you can probably guess what happened 20-minutes later.

Yes, I got a colon cleanse so powerful I thought I was going to prolapse. But I knew it was gonna happen and I regret nothing. In fact, I’ll probably do it again tomorrow. Well, maybe I’ll just get two this time…and a taco…or maybe a Gordita. And a Mexican pizza?

Okay but let’s get serious for a moment. “For a limited time” is a real thing. Taco Bell is leaning into the demand-based cult following and have no plans to keep it on the menu. Once it’s easily available, it becomes less precious. Remember that the next time you are getting comfortable in a relationship with someone you love and you start having wandering eyes. Yeah, men and women both.

You better take her ass dancing, give her an excuse to get dolled up, and tell her how irresistible she is. And ladies, you seriously just have to make him a sandwich and maybe thank him for unclogging the drain. Yes, even though you had to harass him for 3-months before he did it. I know, it seems dumb, but it seems dumb that we have to tell you you’re pretty five times a day for the next fifty years, yet we’d all be a lot happier if we appreciated what we had while we had it.

Now that I’ve turned fast food menu items into excellent relationship advice (you’re welcome), let me tell you that the enchirito is as good as I remember. But look: if you drown an old shoe in melted cheese and enchilada sauce, it’s going to taste good. Fast food isn’t about balance though. This isn’t cuisine and I won’t elevate it to mythical proportions through prose. This is ground up cow and a bunch of different ways to deliver salt, sugar, and fat with the same subtlety as an grenade launcher or a fire hose…or a fire hose that launches grenades.

And I friggin’ love it. I’m not kidding when I say I’ll go get two more tomorrow. Well, probably not tomorrow, because they’re $4.69 each here in Central Texas. It’s a $2.99 item, and even if I’m generous because of five years of runaway inflation, it’s a $3.99 menu item. Just because I’m mythologizing it doesn’t mean I’m a sap, Taco Bell (aka Yum! Brands).

Save the dates

Being a corporation first and foremost, they want to keep the mystery, so officially it is just “a limited time.” But plenty of savvy sleuths of the interwebs know that the corporate owned stores run on cycles, and the franchises usually opt in almost without exception.

So that means June 18th through July 22 the enchirito will be available, subject to participation and availability. At the store I went to it was not subtle. about 1/6 of the menu (TV screens) for the drive thru was an enchirito ad. I was happy to find that whoever was doing prep that day knew how to make one. Sometimes you end up with beans on one end and meat on the other, which doesn’t take a college degree to figure out is wrong.

They didn’t scrimp on the cheese either, and the enchilada sauce tastes exactly the same as I remember. That last part is no surprise, as the sauce is used in things like the bean burrito and Mexican pizza. The only ingredient I’m aware of that Taco bell has to order for the enchirito is the plastic container it comes in. Even the need to melt the cheese doesn’t require an oven they don’t already have.

Alternatives

If you’re a loyalist there is no substitute for the enchirito. But I’ve already written about the Chilada from Taco Casa, a Central Texas fast food chain with about 100 restaurants. They drown theirs in even more cheese, and don’t even bother melting. Just, “here, you want some CHEESE WITH THAT?!!” Then they just throw it at you. Well, the last part isn’t true.

You can also hack the Taco Bell menu by ordering a Burrito Supreme with red sauce and cheese. It’s not the same, no, but it’s also a lot more food. And of course, there’s really no magic here: you can get enchiladas with red sauce anywhere. Just get the ground beef kind and look for TexMex restaurants, as they do ground beef the “right” way (genuine Mexican food doesn’t use ground beef: the Mexicans adapted to the American food supply as Texas gained statehood and its tastes hybridized between the old world and the new).

But there you have it. Take ground up cow bits and season the hell out of ’em, slather it in sauce and melt a bunch of cheese on it. Honestly, if you soaked old newsprint in beef tallow or lard long enough, then seasoned it with the chili con carne packets you can buy at a grocery store, you’re gonna be just fine by the time you’ve melted a bunch of cheese on it.

And remember, the corporate chemists at Yum! Brands know this, and they still actually use cow. Sure, much of that is due to a need to avoid lawsuits, but you can still praise them for their high quality when you think about what they could be passing off as ground beef.